Book Chat: Harry Potter by J.K.Rowling

 

The year is 2018 and the last millennial has finally read Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling; a series that has made more fans and more money than god. I’ve done it. I’ve read it.

If you’ve been here before, or you follow my Bookstagram (and you should) then you know that I never wanted to read this series.It’s a natural prejudice against things that become insanely popular; they don’t tend to be all that good, just easily consumed. So I went into this expecting to have a little fun but not to *like* it all that much.

Let’s see how that worked out. Now below is a spoiler free (in case anyone else has been living under that rock with me. I wouldn’t know. It was dark and cozy and full of other great books to read), and is just brief thoughts on each book accompanied by a cute little quote.

Sorcerers Stone– 3 stars

“ARE YOU A WITCH OR NOT?”

This book is quite clearly a young children’s book (a bit on the young side of middle grade). It introduces us to the Wizarding World and from what I hear a lot of people have fond memories of it. I really didn’t like it. It was painful. The ending was irritating and predictable. I simply did not have that much fun reading this. Had I not already committed to reading the entire series I wouldn’t in anyway felt inspired to pick up the next book.

Chamber of Secrets– 2.75 stars

“When in doubt, go to the

This book, for me at least, was completely forgettable. I was just annoyed by the entire thing and it, even more than the first, made me not want to keep reading. This book seemed to just be Harry not communicating and leading to every problem in the plot. That turned out to be my main issue with the entire series; Harry withholding information for no other reason than to further the plot.

Prisoner of Azkaban– 4 stars

“I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.”

The third book in the series wasn’t just the first book I enjoyed but I really fucking loved it. In this book we are introduced to some fun and complex characters, there was a plot capable of a twist and also holding my interest, and it was the first time I started to really like our Golden trio. It’s not the best book in the series but I had a lot of fun reading it.

Goblet of Fire– 4

“Just because it’s taken you three years to notice, Ron, doesn’t mean no one else has spotted I’m a girl”

This one was a better book than the previous one but I liked Prisoner of Azkaban just a tad bit more. i still loved this one though. Again there were some interesting characters and a plot twist that caught me completely off my guard. If looked at by itself this would probably have been a 3 star book but I really liked it as an addition to the series.

Order of the Phoenix– 3 stars

“Give her hell from us.”

This. Book. Dragged. I hated it, I hated Harry,I hated the story, I hated having to read it. This one was another that overused Harry having a shitty and illogical personality just to further the plot and there were several times that I wanted nothing more than to DNF it. The only thing that saved this from being a 2 star was that around page 400 t kind of caught my attention. The story picked up a bit and I found myself actually *wanting* to read it. Fred and George Weasley were my favorite arc in this book and they made it enjoyable. The ending was pretty forgettable but I stayed up until 4am twice for it so it has to get at least a 3.

Half-Blood Prince– 4 stars

Harry was left to ponder in silence the depths to which girls would sink to get revenge.

I flew through this book. Not just in comparison to the 10 or so days it took me to read the previous one but I genuinely finished it in about 2 days. This was fast paced, all of the characters were interesting, and fun, I absolutely loved it. This was the one where i truly started to be a Harry Potter Fan. it’s also the book where I became Ron and Hermoine trash. I have loved them for quite a bit up until this point but this was the book where I started getting so anxious about their relationship and wondering just WHEN they were going to finally get together. My only complaint about this book is that the ending, which I feel is supposed be emotional, just didn’t do much for me. I think Rowling has a hard time making me feel things when she wants me to.

Deathly Hallows– 5 stars

“ARE YOU A WIZARD OR WHAT?”

This is by far the best book in the series. It veers off of the standard story line that the other books have been following and es us on a wild and emotional adventure (emotional for the characters, not for the reader). The characters arcs in this book are great and had me obsessed (Ron & Hermoinie killed me). It was climactic and a fitting end to the journey. Except for the epilogue. It was unnecessary fan service and it ruined the end of the story for me. It took away that satisfaction of the end of a journey.

The Cursed Child– 3 stars

“My geekiness is a-quivering”

This is the 8th installment of the franchise written as a play set 2 decades after the Battle of Hogwarts. It read like fanfiction and I have decided to treat it as such. It adds nothing to the story and was only mildly enjoyable; the best part of the whole thing for me was adding Scorpious to my view of the world. That doesn’t mean I don’t think you should read it, it’s a journey. Just an unnecessary one.

Hogwarts Library– 3 stars

A compilation of “Fantastic Beasts and Wear to Find Them”, “The Tales of Beedle the Bard”, and “Quidditch Throughout the Ages”, this is a cute addition to the Wizarding World. Maybe not something you’d want to read unless you, like me, get giddy about world building.

 

The world is by far my favorite thing about the Harry Potter series. I said above that Rowling didn’t do a great job making anything all that impactful for me so there wasn’t much attachment to the characters so much as the story itself. If these books hadn’t been part of a massive series or if i hadn’t binged it over the course of a month i don’t know that I’d have had such strong feelings about it.

Though I will say that for the lack of emotional impact this series somehow had one of the best romances I’ve ever read. I know Rowling herself says she regrets Ron and Hermoine’s romance and I can’t for the life of me think why. It was amazing to read and I adore them.

In all my rating for the entire series comes to 3.52 stars out of 5 and I’d say that’s pretty accurate. I wouldn’t be opposed to rounding up to an even 4 stars and calling it a day. So yes, I admit it, I *liked* it. Hell didn’t freeze over but the government did shut down.

 

 

 

Book/Movie Chat: Hidden Figures by Margot Lee Shetterly

Hidden Figures by Margot Lee Shetterly is, in a word, beautiful. In a few words it is a masterpiece of storytelling, weaving an accurate history of the machine that is the American aeronautics industry with the true stories of the Black women who made that machine run, the marriage of which ultimately lead America to the moon, into a narrative that is informative, entertaining, inspirational, and heartbreaking.

This book is first and foremost an accurate history; there is no dialogue and no plot, but there is plenty of detailed information about the mathematical problems that the West Computers were tasked with solving each day. Shetterly does not want to bore us though and the subject matter hops about from maths, to race relations, to the womans personal lives, and back again. The flow of the narrative is perfect; never sitting on one topic for too long without being jumpy, never letting the reader grow bored but never letting us notice when the shifts occur. Shetterly does a phenomenal job letting us know this is not just an isolated bit of history, no, the math, the racism and sexism, the political climate, the women themselves do not exist in bubbles; Black history is not a month, it is American History and we need to hear it all or we aren’t getting the full story.

“Sometimes, she knew, the most important battles for dignity, pride, and progress were fought with the simplest of actions.”

And what a story it is. I started Hidden Figures with a roll of blue tabs to mark every time I cried. By the seventh marker I realized there were too many too frequently; I had cried, settled myself,then cried again over a different incident later on on the same page! I wasn’t just tearing up either, I was full on, have to sit the book down and collect myself, sobbing.
It isn’t that this book is “sad”; this book is inspiring. This book is powerful. This book is the story of the foundation of my very existence; the names and stories that led our country to the moon, led women into STEM, and ultimately led me to a world where I would never have to be one of the “girls”.

This is the reason I was so disappointed with the movie.
Now we all know the movie can never be as in depth as the book, this is the downside to any transmedia adaptations, and I was willing to accept the inaccuracies I saw that were made for times sake. I get it; you can’t adequately cover the period from WWII to the Moon landing in two hours and its best to rearrange some things to make a good story. It is annoying. It is not a deal breaker.
My deal breaker came with the realization that the East Computing pool had been retconned into existence, well past the time they had been dissolved, so that a made up white woman could be a featured role in the film. It came when I noticed that every incident of segregation, every microaggression, every bit of blatant racism was fixed with hard work or the help of a white man. It came when I realized that this movie was made for white people.
In the book the women featured take down “Colored Girls” signs to preserve their own dignity; they use the “Whites Only” bathrooms and dare someone to stop them; they pester the white men to join meeting daily until eventually they just give up and let them in. In the the movie the not racist White Knight character fixes all of these problems for the women allowing a white man to take the spotlight for “saving” the day.
The racism depicted in this movie is the glossy, G-rated racism that doesn’t make white people uncomfortable to look at because they know that in the end it will all be set to rights by the white characters who aren’t really racist if you give then a chance.
If I look past the fact that the movie adaptation completely undermines the entire point of the story then, yeah, sure, it was a good movie. The acting on almost all fronts was superb, the sets were glorious, and they did an alright job squeezing the book down into a film. Its okay. I hate that it blunts the sharp edges of racism while trying to act as if its showing you racism. I hate that it undermines the accomplishments of the West Computers by giving them to a white man. I hate that it can’t hope to portray the emotion of the book. But as a stand alone experience it’s okay.

Hidden Figure by Margot Lee Shetterly is a solid 5/5 stars.
Hidden Figures directed by Theodore Melfi is a weak 3/5 stars. Maybe even 2.5, I am just that disappointed.

A-Z Book

Happy TAG! Tuesday everybody! This little time capsule (for it is still Feb 5^th) is going to be the A-Z TAG! It’s 26 questions so let’s jump right in!

Like my Rainbow! I don’t.

Author you’ve read the most books from?

Philippa Gregory; I’ve read 17 of her books.

Best sequel ever?

Toss up between Red Seas Under Red Skies by Scott Lynch and Meridon by Philippa Gregory.

Currently Reading?

I am still reading 1984 by George Orwell! I’m in the Afterward though

Drink of choice while reading?

I only drink water, tea, or juice. So basically water, grassy water, or sugary water

E-reader or physical book?

I’m sorry what kind of question is that? I read books thank you very much.

Fictional character you probably would have actually dated in high school?

Okay no one because high school Tarina was. . . look it wasn’t great. Probably Victor from Write Naked by Peter

Glad you gave this book a chance:

Habibi and Blankets by Craig Thomson. I HATE graphic novels but I picked these up to challenge myself and they were two of the most beautifully written stories I’ve ever read.

Hidden Gem:

There area lot of books that I think too few people recognize but, because it’s on my mind.I’ll say Ella Minnow Pea by Mark Dunn

Important moment in your reading life:

Ah. There are a lot. I guess the most important was all those years ago when i managed to read Dr. Seuss’ The Foot Book all by myself and the rest, they say, is history.

Kinds of books you won’t read?

I won’t read romances. I have. I regret it.

Longest books you’ve read?

Maybe Stephen Kings Under the Dome? It clocks in at 1,075 I think. I believe some of AsoIaF are longer but they were also physically shorter books so I think Dome is still longer.

Major book hangover because of:

Kingkiller by Patrick Rothfuss. That got me in some kind of head space for like 2 weeks.

Number of bookcases you own?

Technically 0. My shelves are attached to my wall and came with the room so I’m just renting them.

One book you have read multiple times?

Across the Wide and Lonesome Prairie by Kristiana Gregory

Preferred place to read?

In bed.

Quote that inspires you/gives you all the feels from a book?

My first thought was “Hope is swift and flies on swallows wings; kings it makes gods and meaner creatures kings.” which is from Richard III by Shakespeare. I’ve never actually read Richard III but when i was 10 I read a book in wich one of the characters was a homeless drunk who would quote books at people to prove he used to be somebody and he quoted that to a group of children; it wasn’t until I was in high school that I learned he’d misquoted it saying it was from Hamlet. In any case that quote has stuck with me for 13 years even if I can’t remember the book I’d actually read it in.

Reading regret:

I didn’t read keep better track of what I’d read growing up. I used to keep sporadic lists but nothing complete and now there are so many stories floating around in my memories, and some I know I’ve forgotten. It makes me sad not having a way to look back. I would also like to have an idea of how many books I’ve actually read. I usually guess somewhere between 600-700 but who fucking knows.

Series you started and need to finish (all books are out)

I don’t really start series unless I’m able to finish them, or get caught up quickly. I guess maybe The Jenna Fox Chronicles because I didn’t know there was more than one of them until recently.

Three of your all-time favorite books

Childhood End by Arthor C. Clarke, Meridon by Philippa Gregory, Across the Wide and Lonesome Prairie by Kristiana Gregory

Unapologetic fangirl for:

Gentlemen Bastards, Kingkiller, Lunar Chronicles, The Three Musketeers. No shame.

Very excited for this release more than any other:

THE REPUBLIC OF THEIVES!

Worst bookish habit?

Laying my books face down and open probably. It’s really bad for their spines.

X marks the spot: Start at the far left of your bookcase and pick the 27^th book:

The Boleyn Inheritance by Philippa Gregory

Your latest book purchase?

Well i just got Wires and Nerves Vol.1 by Marissa Meyer but I just ordered Hidden Figures

ZZZZ-snatcher: last book that ket you up WAY late?

1984 by George Orwell; I have been working nonstop and yet I still spent hours up the other night reading

Now I know my ABC’s. . . If you’re reading this I TAG you to answer these 26 questions

Book Chat: Heartless

“How is a raven like a writing desk?”

At this start of 2016 I had 3 books that I was anticipating more than anything else; A Torch Against the Night by Sabaa Tahir, Three Sisters, Three Queens by Philippa Gregory, and Heartless by Marissa Meyer. Three Sisters, Three Queens was like have a tooth pulled, and ATAtN was nothing short of terrible, so when I finally held Heartless just before Christmas I begged the books gods to prove the old adage  “Third times the charm.”

Spoiler alert; they did.

You have probably seen Heartless called an Alice in Wonderland retelling but it’s not; it’s a prequel to events of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass. It’s an origin story for the Queen of Hearts, you know the OFF WITH HER HEAD one?

I haven’t much to say about the story honestly; it’s YA but cleverly crafted, funny, the characters don’t make me want to claw my eyes out and one of them even manages to be genuinely deep. I won’t tell you who but it hits right in the feels at the end there. My biggest complaint about the story as a whole is this one section near the end that completely ruined the pacing for me. It was as if the story had been building up and up to a predictable but nonetheless exciting ending when all the sudden everything stopped for a few chapters so Meyer could, and I wish I were joking, tell you exactly what’s going to happen. It was all the things we had been building towards and I could feel the inevitability of some of the outcomes but it wasn’t boring predictability it was more dread at seeing where this is heading and hoping you’re wrong. I guess Meyer didn’t trust her ability to lay that groundwork though so she went with blatant foreshadowing a scene before the big climax when all of the things come to a head and it ruined the impact for me. Not just a little either, my excitement level plunged and I read the big climax without interest or emotion.

Even with all of that I loved the story, I loved how she wove each of the characters into the narrative in a way that did not feel forced and set the backdrop for events from the Alice books perfectly. Prequels written by other people are a difficult thing but this feels like a natural extension and I couldn’t be happier.

Now. The meat of this review.

I am a huge Alice fan. I have read both books 4 times, I can recite the poem Jabberwocky by heart and I have seen several of the movie adaptation enough to tell you exactly why they are wrong. I am an Alice snob. I take my Wonderland seriously. Going into this book I did not have high expectations for the world building. I haven’t enjoyed a Wonderland adaptation yet and I didn’t expect that to change. The Disney cartoon was nice, it captured the whimsy but fell into the trap of creating a Frankenstein’s monster out of bits of two separate novels; something the Tim Burton adaptation did with stunning disregard for any piece of the original story. I applaud it really.

Meyer is amazing at building complex yet story accurate fairy tale worlds and she built her Wonderland with attention to fine detail. She understands that the world down the rabbit hole and the world through the looking glass are separate. She understands that the fanciful nature of these worlds is normal for the residence so she doesn’t make a big deal out of any of them but makes sure we understand that there are rules to this reality as well. Because she understands these things she is able to create a Wonderland that makes sense while maintaining the accuracy of the source material AND the whimsical feel of the world.

Other adapters look at what Lewis said of Wonderland and try to paint us a picture of it; Meyer looked at Wonderland itself and painted her own picture. Now I understand many other adapters are not trying to recreate the original story they are trying to write their own, loosely based on the original. That’s well and good, they can do as they please but keep in mind I’m a snob. I won’t apologize for being happy to finally get the accuracy I have been dying for.

I highly recommend if you love fairy tales, or Alice and I think even other Alice snobs will adore it.

4 stars.

Best and Worst Books of 2016!

NaNoWriMo 2016 Halfway Point

“Writing is a lonely job. Having someone who believes in you makes a lot of difference. They don’t have to makes speeches. Just believing is usually enough.” Stephen King, On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft

Guys.
Guys.
We are halfway through NaNoWriMo.

I know that NaNoWriMo is a challenge that many people participate in each year and so many people are able to turn out 50k words no problem. Hell, I’ve seen people who have already won NaNoWriMo this year and if you are one of those people Congratulations! Even with all of this I can’t help but feel proud of myself. For years I never thought I would be able to get this first draft out. I would try and would eventually grow fed up for one reason or another. Now, in just 15 days, I have written over half of my first draft. That is amazing. That brings tears to my eyes to know I can do that.

I know that the difference this time was my friends, one in particular, who helped me do this. All those years I was writing to and for myself. No one knew about my story, and those that did believed in me just as much as I did; they knew I *could* do it but probably wouldn’t. This time I told people, this time I have a dead line, and this time when I get discouraged I have a friend to tell me “Don’t fucken give up you asshole”.

My story is flowing again after starting the week in a bit of a funk. I am happier with my writing overall and my characters have taken me on a few surprise adventures as well! It’s always fun when that happens. I am finding that even after 7 years this story has a way of getting away from me. From characters showing me sides of them I hadn’t expected to a scene that really got away from me, I am discovering this story and it’s making it exciting to write. I am also itching to give Stephen Kings On Writing a reread but I LOST MY COPY and the moment I am able I am going to the store for another because the need is real.

On a more serious note; one theme that has been the entire point of my story since the beginning has been hitting me a bit had recently and that caught me by surprise. In a nutshell my story is about a kingdom whose king begins to go a little crazy and believes he has to bring his county to perfection in order for his god to love and favor him. He starts restricting rights and privileges for non-citizens, woman, and his working class. I hope you can see where I’m heading here. This past week has been an emotional one for a lot of people in my county and I’m finding that writing about the riots and protests in my fictional kingdom is genuinely making me emotional. 15 year old Tarina never imagined that distopian kingdom she was creating would be something she may very well have to live but the fear and uncertainty I’m feeling has helped me put myself in my characters shoes and their motivations are becoming much clearer.

Has your story evolved any over the past 2 weeks? How so? Are there any things in you book that are binging up emotions you weren’t expecting?

WORD COUNT:

I haven’t counted/updated for today yet

As of writing this I am a little over 27,744 words. I never know exactly until the end of the day because I am writing longhand like a loser. Looking at my “Words remaining” on the NaNoWriMo website and seeing only a little over 22k remaining really made me feel good. I have never written 50,000 words in 30 days before, but I did just write 25,000 in 13 so doing that again doesn’t seem like that daunting of a task!

FAVORITE LINE/PASSAGE: Believe it or not I quite like a lot of what I wrote this week. Here are a few sentences describing the port city of Cybre.

“The city itself was beautiful, in its way. Closest to the port sat businesses of all kinds; pubs, inns, whorehouses, lawyers, anything a freshly landed ship of people might find themselves in need of. Cybre was large and working class meaning the establishments were all in the comfortable place of being affordable to the average person while also boasting low odds that someone would pull a knife on you while you were inside.”

I remain, as always, pretty happy with my descriptions and less happy with my character interactions. I can barely hold a conversation in real life so its hard to write characters that can converse with ease. It’s a skill I do not have so how can I write it accurately?

That’s all for my update! How are those word counts, where is everyone? I will be posting weekly updates on my NaNo progress, stresses, and inspirations but you can get almost daily updates on Instagram.
@_volume_of_forgotten_lore_
NaNoWriMo user Bogorm

NaNoWriMo Day 7

“Alchemists tried for centuries to turn base metals into gold. Every time we sit down and put words on paper, we succeed where they failed. We’re conjuring something out of nothing.”

It’s been 1 week!!!

I have never been more excited to be writing than I have been in this first week of NaNoWriMo. I don’t know if its having a goal, or having the support and encouragement of the community, or both, or something else entirely but I feel motivated to write my words each day. This project, which for years seemed like an insurmountable task, feels doable. I can accomplish 50,000 words; I can write the first draft of my novel. I hope everyone else feels positive about their goals this month as well.

This project is about seven years old; it began with the idea to create an utopian society and once I had conquered that task to my satisfaction I wanted to destroy it. Thus Donoma was formed and launched into hardship. Seven years. I built this world, these characters, this story; I thought I knew all there was to know about my characters and their motivations. I was wrong.
One main character was an optimistic leader. He was secular, and a provider who wanted to do what was best for his country. Turns out he’s actually a bit of a cynic who is a firm believer in the Gods and who has religious as well as self centered reasons for his actions.
One young man was a bit of a bully to his younger brothers but nothing extreme, he liked to get into trouble but was mature and caring when needed. He shot that down immediately and let me know he is actually a twat, a preening hedonistic peacock who torments his younger brothers like a tyrant. He does take responsibility when it suits him and he is good in leadership roles in those instances but he’s mostly a piece of shit.

Those are just two drastic examples. I have always loved for my characters to show me who they are and I’m so excited that even after all this time I’m learning new things about them!

WORD COUNT:
I had 2 days this week where I wrote less than 1,000 words and it really hurt. As of writing this (9pm Nov 6) I am at 7,500 and change words. I still have a lot of writing to do tonight and I am behind on my personal goal by at least 3,199, depending on what I finish by midnight. Update: I’m at 9,059 as of posting this.
I’m planning to accomplish my daily goal of 2,000 words and use my days off work this week to write 4,000 words. If I manage that I will be ahead of my goal by Friday.

FAVORITE LINE/PASSAGE:
Last time I jokingly said they were all terrible, this time I mean it. I feel as if the quality of my writing has been decreasing as the days pass. I find myself wanting to edit more, though I have been fighting the urge, and also noticing a lack of depth in my sentences. I usually prefer rich description but that’s not what I’m writing. I know what I’m capable of in first draft work and this simply is not it. I think its the time crunch and the daily goals; I don’t have the time to dream up the words to make each paragraph poetry. I genuinely can’t find a single sentence that I feel reflects my abilities or that I even like as is. As I read over my work I am real time editing it in my head to make it flow better!

The hunting ceased when hunger and thirst forced both players to abandon the maze in favor of the more hospitable kitchen. Like two little wildlings they ran across the hot patio, clothes torn, hair full of petals and brambles, faces streaked dirty with sweat and grime. They couldn’t imagine being happier.
“No.” Enki hardly let them cross the threshold before he spoke, shaking his head as if the children had just suggested something preposterous.

Do your characters ever get away from you and show you who they really are? What about those word counts, where is everyone? I will be posting weekly updates on my NaNo progress, stresses, and inspirations but you can get almost daily updates on Instagram.

@_volume_of_forgotten_lore_
NaNoWriMo user Bogorm

NANOWRIMO 2016 Day 1

If you can tell stories, create characters, devise incidents, and have sincerity and passion, it doesn’t matter a damn how you write.
– Somerset Maugham

 

 

HAPPY NANOWRIMO!

It’s technically the beginning of Day 2 for me once this posts but I’m writing it at 1am, just after finishing my Day 1 writing.

WORD COUNT:
I have written 2,178 words as of midnight! My goal is 2k a day so I’m doing alright considering that was only a little under 4 hours of sporadic writing time.

My region is doing amazing as well! I’m trying to be a part of the actual NaNo community this time around instead of just updating my word count. Maryland is at over 2,600,000 words on day 2!

FAVORITE LINE/PASSAGE:
They all suck honestly. I am pretty good at writing descriptions and not so good with dialog or character interaction so let’s pick one of those things I guess…

While the boy was glancing down the Prince took the moment to close the gap between them and connect her right fist to his jaw. He stumbled back into the barrel dropping the dagger, which she scooped up before putting her back to the wall once more.  Having steel in her hand made the whole experience more comfortable.
“You didn’t have to fucking hit me!” Damon yelled righting himself, “I was going to give it to you!” He rubbed his jaw once and stared at her horrified and confused.
“But know you know I didn’t need you to. . .”

Excuse me while I cringe to death and also, apparently, fall asleep writing this. It’s been a productive day and I’m hoping for an equally productive week.

I will be posting weekly updates on my NaNo progress, stresses, and inspirations but you can get almost daily updates on Instagram.

@_volume_of_forgotten_lore_
NaNoWriMo user Bogorm

The Lies of Locke Lamora

There is nothing wrong with this book.
5/5 it is everything right in this terrible terrible world.

“Someday, Locke Lamora,” he said, “someday, you’re going to fuck up so magnificently, so ambitiously, so overwhelmingly that the sky will light up and the moons will spin and the gods themselves will shit comets with glee. And I just hope I’m still around to see it.”

Okay. Maybe I should say a bit more.
The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch landed into my unprepared hands while in a Barnes and Noble when a friend of mine looked at the pile of books I was purchasing and said “I don’t know why you’re bothering with those since you’re going to read Locke Lamora next.” He has yet to steer me wrong with book recommendations so I didn’t even care what it was about, I just started reading and I have never been happier with a book in all my life.

This book is the first in a series, that will one day total 5 books but which currently has only 3, called Gentleman Bastards. It takes place in the fantasy country of Camorii, an Italy inspired world of alchemy, magic, and, most importantly, thievery. You already know more about this book than I did going in and I really hesitate to say much else but I will. Because this is a Book Chat.

The Lies of Locke Lamora is a masterpiece of world and character building. Scott Lynch pulls us, a little at a time, into this complex fantasy with a rich history and culture; he introduces us to characters that feel almost real and shows us relationships that are deep and valuable. It is pure sorcery, the likes of which I haven’t seen since I read A Song of Ice and Fire. Locke Lamora is far more intimate that GRRMs epic, though. It is focused on one group of characters and it allows the reader to become closer, more attached and emotionally connected. At least, that was my experience.

Lynch builds this world around the reader little by little but the story starts out at a trot, increasing in pace with each page. It is written better than anything I’ve read in years. There are no boring scenes, or no slow spots. There is no unnecessary descriptions or info dumping. There isn’t a single word in this book that isn’t relevant to the story. Lynch wove his narrative together using multiple view points as well as interludes and flashbacks yet it all fit together so seamlessly I couldn’t tell you any other way this story could have been written. It is complex, almost to the point of absurdity, and yet ever single piece serves a vital purpose to the overall story. Scott Lynch is a gods damn artist. He made me laugh. He made me cry. He wrapped me up in the world of Locke Lamora and just as I thought I was starting to like it there he broke my heart.

“I’m not gong to kill you,” said Locke
I’m going to play a little game I like to call ‘Scream in pain until you answer my fucking questions.”

The Lies of Locke Lamora is, without a doubt, one of my top 3 books of 2016. I highly recommend it to anyone at all who can handle a bit of grit, a lot of colorful language, and also a hole in their fucking soul.

 

 

Date a Girl Who Reads

“You should date a girl who reads.
Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes, who has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she has found the book she wants. You see that weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a secondhand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow and worn.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas, for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry and in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who read understand that all things must come to end, but that you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.”

―Rosemarie Urquico